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              30歲還沒有談戀愛是不是不正常

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              1#
              發表于 2018-8-22 08:11 來自手機 | 只看該作者 回帖獎勵 |倒序瀏覽 |閱讀模式
              1心理幣
                我今年30歲(單身),男生,有過一次婚外戀,算是我勾引的她(已婚),在一起有兩年,后來因為經濟原因分了。算是我的一次特殊感情經歷。
              3 ]* M) P1 g1 T0 ?( W6 A2 @  我追過幾次女孩子,沒有一次成功的,可能是因為自卑,內向,也可能是從小家庭環境的影響。我生活在一個單親家庭,媽媽在我三歲左右就離開了我們,那時弟弟才一歲左右,爸爸是50年代的人,沒有讀過什么書,打我記事起,就住在別人家里,聽家人說是房子被燒了。媽媽去世后,爸爸帶著我們兄弟倆去菜市場賣菜養活我們,到處租房子住,就這樣過了差不多十年,爸爸是一個老實人,自卑,不會說話,從小,做什么,吃什么都怕被別人看見,連吃一次肉,都不敢跟不會說話,也很自卑,可我還有點對女生有很強烈的抵觸心里,不知道是不是跟我媽有關系。記得很小的時候,有一次晚上,媽媽趁爸爸出去買煙十,一個人偷偷的拿著一個褐色的玻璃瓶喝水還是什么,還在那哭,把我吵醒了,就問她喝什么,她騙我說糖水,第二天媽媽就走了,再也回不來了,從那以后,我就變得沉默寡言了,也不敢接近女孩子,直到現在,這種情況越來越嚴重。
              1 Q8 N6 U2 P; i/ m  15歲初中沒畢業,爸爸把我送進廚房了,一做就是十幾年,這十幾年,我經歷了很多事情,可在感情方面,我還是一片空白,可能因為自己的原因,工作了十幾年,一點成績也沒有,我越來越恨自己,討厭自己,脾氣越來越暴躁,變得心急易怒,性格古怪,感覺活著沒有一點價值,一點意義,一直想改變家庭帶給我的自卑,和安全感,(小時候被母親拋棄的陰影),導致我現在無法做一個正常人,沒有一個朋友一段友誼能維持三個月,都是自我療傷。從去年開始,我意識到自己的情況有點嚴重了,好像自己拒絕長大一樣,我的心里跟想法變得跟小孩一樣,任性叛逆,喜怒無常,討厭自己,不切實際,,好像把自己封閉起來了,可怎么也轉不出去,我已經30歲了,可就是長不大,也不知道以后怎么辦,現在廚師也沒有做了,,不敢跟家里人說,家里叫我回去相親幾次,我都沒有回去,感覺自己不像個成年人,害怕被他們發現了我的不正常行為,一直在逃避,總以為結婚對我來說是一件很遙不可及的夢。
              ' {  P: Q0 i: H; r7 s  我不想這樣下去了,我想過正常人的生活,朋友們,你們誰能幫幫我,幫我過正常人的生活,我的父親已經60好幾了,我已經到了給他報孫子的年紀了,可我什么都做不了,不知道怎么辦了,家里前幾年做了一個毛坯房,去年拆遷賠了兩套房子,沒有多余的錢,房子現在還沒有到手,我想早一點認我爸報孫子,可不知道怎么辦,現在不敢追女孩子,自卑,膽怯,也不知道怎么追。
              1 g& F7 \0 w2 b" X9 {5 x' E' T3 E9 [  今年認識了一個妹妹,比我小七歲,她家里條件不好,小學沒畢業就沒讀書了,爸爸在她上五年級的時候,在家里蓋房子摔傷了,成了植物人,11歲就跟她媽媽干活養家,家里還有一個弟弟在上學,每年我的這個妹妹掙點錢都寄回家了,因為跟他爸治病,家里欠了一屁股債,妹妹還借了好多貸款,我也幫她還了一些,我有點喜歡這個妹妹(叫靜靜)我們認識半年后,有一次跟她表白了被拒絕了,原因是現在不想談,也弄的有點尷尬,現在缺錢就會找我,我也來者不拒,不知道這樣下去什么時候是個頭,我只想成個家,讓我爸早點報個孫子,可是沒經驗,求朋友們幫忙,好心人一生平安
              ; p' S2 K- M0 V; W! C# U' H' e' K8 o: b" F
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              2#
              發表于 2018-10-2 09:04 | 只看該作者
              童年的經歷會給人留下很深的影響,我建議你可以去找專業的心理醫生
              3#
              發表于 2018-10-10 21:39 | 只看該作者
              1.首先30歲沒談戀愛是屬于正常。2.自卑是和生長環境等一些外在因素相關(后期的環境也可以改善這種狀況)。3.現狀的社會現象導致了物質現實(當下30歲未結婚的大有人在)。4、你想要談戀愛就得先去多找一些能接觸女孩子的工作或者環境,其實很多女孩子也有一樣的煩惱。希望能幫到你
              4#
              發表于 2018-10-29 09:54 | 只看該作者
              你現在最重要的是走向社會,獲得正常的社會功能,完善自己,談戀愛的問題會迎刃而解的3 m# i1 s: [3 ~* x, j
              5#
              發表于 2018-11-1 11:23 | 只看該作者
              首先你需要了解到我們作為一個弱小的個體對這個社會上面很多的事情都是沒有辦法的,我們能做的只是做好日常生活中的每一件小事。
              / M% }( Y4 z+ E& o如果說想要一下子就找到一個對自己而言完美的結婚對象,可能不是很容易。
              9 j" g5 @: z! Z1 y& b4 ~但是能不能一點點的鍛煉自己,比如說能自己一個人開始自理自己的生活就是完美的進步。
              6#
              發表于 2018-11-9 11:11 | 只看該作者
              我也沒有
              7#
              發表于 2018-11-28 13:12 來自手機 | 只看該作者
              要想改變現狀,必須的走出去,行動起來才能改變
              8#
              發表于 2018-12-25 11:22 | 只看該作者
              如果把戀愛這件事加上很重的枷鎖,要求自己一定時間必須完成這個任務,反而戀愛不會來,應該先調整心態,放輕松一點。
              9#
              發表于 2019-1-3 15:42 | 只看該作者
              10#
              發表于 2019-2-26 09:59 | 只看該作者
              能正視問題就已經很棒了,共勉
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