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              [認知心理學] 為什么人們愿意沉浸在負面情緒中?

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              1#
              發表于 2015-11-16 11:27 | 只看該作者 回帖獎勵 |倒序瀏覽 |閱讀模式
              在精神分析理論中,有一個詞叫做“強迫性重復”,意思是說人傾向于不自覺的重復一些早年的創傷性體驗,比如曾經被羞辱的孩子,當他成年后,他會不斷地無意識的創造曾經被羞辱的類似場景,然后會被再度羞辱。

              其實,沒有人愿意讓自己重復體驗那些痛苦,但是,卻又很難從那些體驗中逃出來,這是因為:

              1.那些體驗是熟悉的,即便那是讓人痛苦的體驗,但是因為它熟悉,所以我們還是愿意不斷重復它,因為熟悉可以帶來安全感。

              對于那些更舒服的體驗,我們理智上可能知道會好些,但是因為在成長中沒有積累起相關的經驗來,所以,不想去嘗試。我們被限制在舊有模式中,不斷重復痛苦。

              2.人傾向于以自己經驗到的模式去評估和感受現在的環境。

              比如,一個人在成長中總是被父親批評,他對爸爸非常恐懼,當他長大后,可能就會對權威產生類似對爸爸那樣的恐懼,所以,當他面對領導時,就會非常緊張,生怕做錯什么挨批評,可是越緊張就會越出錯,于是導致領導真的批評他,于是這就進一步驗證了他最初對領導的恐懼:權威是可怕的。其實,這個結局的產生,在很大程度上是他自己引起的。

              這個過程,在精神分析里,叫做投射性認同。

              3.有時候一些負面的情緒會帶給我們自己特別的滿足。

              比如一個兒童生了病,就會得到父母特別的照顧,他就學會了用自己受苦的方式吸引父母的關愛。也就是說受苦成了他自己的某種資本,可以吸引別人關愛他,或者他因自己受苦而感覺具有了某種特權。

              這種現象常常在婚姻可以看到,比如,女人為家庭付出了很多,后來男人出軌,女人責怪男人負心,卻不知道,她付出的背后,可能暗含著對男人的指責:你不如我能干,不如我負責,男人雖然說不出什么,但這暗中隱含的責備,可能恰是他出軌的一個原因。

              4.某些痛苦的體驗可能帶來保護。

              當一個孩子被批評時,他很傷心,于是他減少了與別人的接觸,從而使自己遠離那些不舒服的體驗,這在他的成長過程中,至少在那一刻,這是有保護意義的。

              但是隨著年紀增長,這樣的方式會讓他的社會功能受損,于是帶來了新的苦惱,于是他又陷進了新的不舒服體驗中。如果他一直沒有辦法找到更有效更有建設性的人際關系處理方式,他就會不斷陷入各種各樣的苦惱里。

              5.重復體驗痛苦發生時的情景,也是我們內心處理痛苦的一個方式。

              不斷重復的過程,其實也是一個不斷試圖改寫的過程。經歷過地震的孩子,有時會看到他們不斷把積木搭成高樓,再推倒它,這實際上就是他們將自己帶回到以前的創傷情境,并在重復中緩解那些恐懼悲傷,并在重建中找回控制感。

              若要改變上面的這些狀況,需要做出很多努力。

              首先,需要積累足夠的勇氣做出改變,因為任何改變,對我們來說,都是一次冒險;

              其次,需要在改變中積累經驗,哪怕是改變中的一點點經驗,都能讓我們感受到,改變并不像想象中那么可怕。

              這一點點成功的經驗就可能帶領我們進行更多的探索,從而引發更多的改變,最終完成內在模式的重新塑造,將自己從舊有的痛苦模式中解放出來,也就脫離了那個在痛苦中的循環,從而完成對過去創傷的修復,用新的,更適應的方式去生活。
              河南省專業的心理機構:新鄉市心理學研究會   
              網址:file:///C:/DOCUME~1/梁玉潔/LOCALS~1/Temp/%25W@GJ$ACOF(TYDYECOKVDYB.pngwww.xlxyjh.com   
              聯系電話:0373-2168656   
              地址:新鄉市和平路公立醫院院內
              新鄉市心理咨詢師  新鄉市心理學研究會   新鄉市心理醫生  新鄉市學生心理咨詢  新鄉市青少年心理咨詢   新鄉市學生厭學、網癮心理咨詢  新鄉市心理咨詢

              2#
              發表于 2016-8-30 15:32 | 只看該作者
              感謝版主分享!!!
              3#
              發表于 2016-9-11 19:13 | 只看該作者
              人生就是這樣,很容易被負面情緒牽動!如何做到情緒控制,原因分析很重要!
              4#
              發表于 2017-11-30 13:36 | 只看該作者
              沉浸在負面情緒當中,絕大機會是因為該人處于一種無法自我修復的情緒中
              6#
              發表于 2017-12-5 15:18 | 只看該作者

              感謝版主分享!!!
              7#
              發表于 2018-3-12 11:10 | 只看該作者
              謝謝分享,我們身邊的確很多存在“強迫性重復” 的事例
              8#
              發表于 2018-3-29 19:23 | 只看該作者
              也許受傷后的一個緩解和治療的過程吧
              9#
              發表于 2018-4-5 21:45 | 只看該作者
              Thanks for your insightful views.
              10#
              發表于 2018-5-2 16:07 | 只看該作者
              感謝版主分享
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